G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #67

“Cold Snap” – January 1986

Here we have your random issue of the always pretty good Marvel G.I. Joe comic, which, let’s face it, should totally be called “Cobra.” You see, beneath this pretty cool Lady Jaye cover, are basically two stories: a Joe story and a Cobra story. While the Cobra story is all about Cobra being Cobra, the Joe story is a hopelessly bromantic little melodrama. Three Joes, Stalker, Snow-Job (he he), and Quick-Kick, are returning home from being POWs. The Joes come out in force to welcome them home, even bringing their space shuttle for some reason. They are, of course, crazy excited, except for Outback, who’s all mopey for leaving his bros behind under Stalker’s orders. Stalker and the boys quickly put their PTSD behind them to cheer up Emo Joe and, after much shoulder holding, the bros go out for a frosty Yo-Jo cola. I’m sure this would be more dramatic if I’d been reading the whole series, but whatever. Meanwhile, Dr. Mindbender and the Baroness are working to overcome a change of government and Cobra Commander’s jerky behavior to kick off a plan they’ve been working on for years in some foreign country. Believe it or not, it actually works as some ultralow frequency sonic wave throw the populace into rioting and Cobra celebrates, requiring Cobra Commander to somehow sip champagne through his metal mask. Folks, this just proves once again what I’ve known since puberty: Cobra is much cooler than G.I. Joe. Also, Cobra Commander is hilarious.

Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four #36

“Understudy Rumble” – July 2008

It turns out that Marvel Adventures comics are a real hoot and this issue of their Fantastic Four title is no exception. The line is predicated on the idea of having a line of titles that feature one and done stories with no ties to current continuity and which are accessible to an all ages readership. For a lot of readers, that “all ages” banner automatically kills any series from the Adventures line, but they’re forgetting that “all ages” can mean just that: a book that, like The Batman Adventures, is just as enjoyable to young readers as to adults. That in mind, writer Paul Tobin really takes the ball and runs with the idea of the one and done, light continuity FF story, telling stories that read much more like the best of 70s Marvel and less like an FF version of Spidey Super Stories. This particular issue is a real stand out and features Tobin’s talent for telling action packed, character driven plots with interesting twists on comic clichés. Here, a group of college kids gets zapped by a ray which turns them in an evil Anti-Fantastic Four, a take off on the standard Superman Bizarro story. Tobin, however, takes the idea of an opposite FF all the way by giving us a truly ineffectual team that includes a Human Water Spout, an incredibly rigid Anti Mr. Fantastic, a handsome, but weak Thing, and, best of all, the Visible Woman, whose power is to turn “extra visible.”

Web of Spider-Man #38

“Moving Up” – May 1988

In this exciting issue: Peter Parker gets drunk! Yup. I bring this up mostly because of the hubbub regarding Pete’s inebriation (at a wedding) in a recent issue of Amazing, which, apparently, drove some fans absolutely nuts and led to Marvel claiming in the book’s letters column that Peter wasn’t really drunk at all. He’d been drinking ginger ale the whole time thinking it was champagne and, so, was only psychosomatically drunk because, of course, Spidey would never get drunk. Similar storytelling gymnastics are also used in this issue of Web of Spider-Man. You see, Pete and MJ are throwing a party in their apartment on the eve of moving out. Peter hears Hobgoblin is back and goes off to fight him, but is a little tipsy. But don’t worry, webheads! The punch had been secretly spiked by the landlord’s husband, so Peter didn’t know he was drinking alcohol. After all, as we all know, Peter Parker only ever gets pretend or accidentally drunk and, for some reason, that’s okay. The whole to do over this was because of Spidey’s place as a role model for kids, so he shouldn’t drink. That’s fine. I get that. But what’s the better lesson for kids: “sometimes bad things happen when you drink so be responsible (as Uncle Ben would say)” or “Spidey NEVER DRINKS EVER, unless the writers think it’s funny and can whitewash it later?” We’re a long way from “Demon in a Bottle” here, folks.

Star Trek: Starfleet Academy #1

“Prime Directives” – December 1996

As you may recall from my review of that Riker comic, this is the series that featured the unnecessarily busty Andorian. Another refugee from Marvel’s short-lived Paramount Comics imprint, Starfleet Academy is pretty clearly an attempt to have a Gen13 series set in the Star Trek universe. Needless to say, it doesn’t really work. Now, it isn’t terrible by any stretch of the imagination and given that it’s a series that co-stars Nog, the annoying Ferengi kid from DS9, that’s really saying something. Basically, it’s series about a group of ragtag cadets, including the latest in the line of Deckers, a Vulcan lady who’s really a Romulan spy, Nog, and, yes, our favorite Andorian and Caitlin Fairchild stand-in, Pava, who totally shows up naked during the issue (as if you weren’t expecting that). There really isn’t a lot else to say about the story. In a way, its surprising (and a bit disappointing) that it isn’t more spectacularly bad. The art, meanwhile, which is serviceable if more than a little in the Image knock-off vain, turns out to be by Chris Renaud, the dude who directed this summer’s Despicable Me. I know. I’m pretty surprised, too, and I find myself wishing he’d done this book in a more cartoony style that would have at least given it more of an identity of it’s own, but, again, Marvel clearly wasn’t as interested in The Star Trek Adventures as much as they were NCC 90210.

Dark X-Men #1

“Journey to the Centre of the Goblin: Part 1” – January 2010

From Paul Cornell and Leonard Kirk, the creators who brought us the spectacular Captain Britain and MI13, comes a book that, by all rights, shouldn’t be any good, but, you know, is. I wasn’t really a fan of the Dark line of books that spun out of Dark Reign (Dark Avengers et al), but this book was pretty fun. The story features an evil group of X-Men, including Mystique, Mimic, and Age of Apocalypse Beast playing heroes and converging on a small town to investigate a new mutant for Norman Osborne. The book could have easily end up trite and/or ultra-violent, but Cornell’s deft touch for character work and for humanizing baddies (currently on display in Action Comics) and Kirk’s talent for capturing subtle, human moments through body language and composition, resulted in a fun tale that’s more interested in character interaction than in plot. Mystique, portrayed here as a wary and only slightly conniving leader, and Beast, who only seems to commit horrific and obscene genetic crimes to alleviate his own boredom, fair the best. Sure, it’s a first issue and, as such, the story suffers from exposition and a bit too much set up, but Cornell and Kirk have done the impossible in making me care both about a Dark Reign tie-in and a set of third string X-Men villains and that’s certainly enough. A quick side note: he may not be much for interiors, but I do enjoy Simone Bianchi’s covers. Just sayin’.

Exiles #2

“Long Live the King! – Part One”

Cover Price: $2.99
Bargain Price: $0.50
Cover Date: July 2009

Fact: Jeff Parker is writing some really fun comics and this all too brief revival of The Exiles is just another example of that. Second fact: you guys, this Salva Espin guy is pretty great. His art is clean and kinetic and his design sense is great (I particularly love his Morlock-like Beast). His art is also also refreshing in that it’s just left of center for the average super-hero book. In fact, the whole book is a little like that, which is probably why it was cancelled with issue six. Still, we’ll just have to chalk the whole thing up to another creative, unconventional team book, like SWORD, Atlas, and Captain Britain and MI-13, cancelled before it’s time. I just think it’s a shame that even books with only, let’s face it, marginally original characters cannot thrive in the current market place. It’s a shame, too, because this is easily the most enjoyable take on The Exiles yet, in no small part because Parker really gets the appeal of seeing not just alternate universes, but alternate takes on our favorite characters in the form of the Exiles themselves. You see Parker has an unmatched ear for characterization and dialogue, allowing him to use those off kilter characterizations to set up a number of entertaining and believable personality clashes. Also, Polaris makes Forge punch himself in the face and who doesn’t want to see that?

Star Trek: The Next Generation Special – Riker

“The Enemy of My Enemy”

Cover Price: $3.50
Bargain Price: $0.50
Cover Date: July 1998

Let’s face it, unless they’re written by Peter David, Star Trek comics pretty much blow. DC often came the closest, but everyone else, from Malibu to IDW to Golden Key, has pretty much dropped the ball. Still, easily the most spectacular failure is the line of Star Trek comics Marvel released under their Paramount Comics imprint. Here, Marvel paired straightforward licensed properties Deep Space Nine and Voyager with “original” series like The Early Years, featuring Captain Pike, and Starfleet Academy, the Gen 13 of Star Trek, complete with a ridiculously busty Andorian, and two gloriously ludicrous Star Trek/X-Men crossovers. The stories were often of fan fiction quality with art that featured characters with lifeless, over photo referenced faces and unbelievably roided up bodies. The absurdly titled Star Trek: The Next Generation Special – Riker: The Enemy of My Enemy exemplifies all of the worst qualities of the Marvel Trek line. The story shoehorns fan favorite elements like Ro Laren, Tom Riker, the Marquis, and even the Genesis Torpedo into a subpar rehash of the already subpar TNG two-parter Gambit with a plot that never even comes close to passing the idiot test. Character faces look traced while bodies, including Riker and Data, very from fairly human to the nineties vein popping super heroic standard. Frankly, there’s a lot to hate about this comic, but the two worst features are the hideous, slapped together in Photoshop cover and the gigantic boobs given to the previously sleek Ro Laren.

Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser #2

“The Circle Curse” and “The Howling Tower”

Cover Price: $4.50
Bargain Price: 3/$1.00
Cover Date: November 1990

Excepting Hellboy himself, Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser may be the perfect characters for Mike Mignola. Mignola’s angular, gothic art and spare, contemplative writing are unlike anything else in comics. Likewise, Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, who, before reading this issue, I had known only by reputation, are completely atypical fantasy characters, a towering barbarian and a smaller, rapier-wielding thief, respectively, who speak and act like real people. That said, it’s easy to see how Fafhrd, the Gray Mouser, and Mignola would be a match made in heaven and a combination that made picking up this particular issue very easy. Mignola and Howard Chaykin, who scripted this miniseries, portray the duo as an immensely amiable pair of adventurers, entwined in two stories that in plot and style closely resemble Mignola’s Hellboy work. The first sees our heroes leave the city of Lankhmar following the deaths of their lady loves. They seek new lands and adventures, hoping to forget, but never quite doing so, facing instead a grim, real world reality: they haven’t forgotten, but, as time has passed, their deaths mean less than they once did. The second tale is a more conventional action tale involving a sorcerer and a ghostly pack of wolves. This volume was definitely Mignola at his finest and as satisfying an introduction to these characters as I could have asked for. I’ll certainly be keeping an eye out for the remaining issues (I picked up #1 already) and even for the duo’s prose adventures.

Spider-Man 2099 #1

“Begin the Future History of Spider-Man 2099”

Cover Price: $1.75
Bargain Price: $0.50
Cover Date: November 1992

I’ve been meaning to pick this one up for awhile because I heard that it was the best of the 2099 titles. I also generally like Peter David and artist Rick Leonardi’s work. As a comic, there's a good deal to like here. Leonardi is in top form and his designs for the book are suitably cool and futuristic without becoming campy or seeming too extreme (for a comic book anyway) for the relatively near dateline. I also like that there is very little effort given to tying the 2099 world into Marvel’s then current continuity with even Peter Parker only getting the briefest mention. It would be so easy to make our hero Peter’s descendant or biggest fan or have him transformed by the same equipment that affected Peter all those years ago, but David wisely avoids all of that. The origin is instead entirely original, if a bit too rooted in the nineties. Ambitious scientist Miguel O’Hara is betrayed by employer Alchemax, an omnipresent, evil corporation. First they addict Miguel to a designer drug and then, when he tries to use a gene resequencer to un-addict himself, they splice him with a spider. The origin ultimately takes up the second half of the book, working as a flashback following a pretty exciting action sequence involving Spidey 2099 and some cops on hover bikes. All in all, it’s a solid first issue, but I’m not sure if it was quite engaging enough to get me to seek out the rest of the run.

Strange #1

“A Whole New Ballgame”

Cover Price: $3.99
Bargain Price: 3/$1.00
Cover Date: January 2010

Dr. Strange, who recently lost most of his powers to Brother Voodoo over in the pages of New Avengers, gets a new miniseries with this issue from Mark Waid and artist Emma Rios. Rios’ Manga influenced art is nice and clean, if not really my cup of tea, and Waid’s story, about a baseball team playing a gang of demons for their immortal souls, makes for a light and fun one and done tale. The end result is an issue that’s good enough, but feels like it could have been more. The has been magician breaking in a new assistant angle that Waid seems to be taking with this series was done much better in last year’s excellent Mysterius, The Unfathomable, which also had a slew of much more creative and gruesome looking demons. True, the story seems a little hampered from really indulging its premise by a general all ages vibe, but even that is contradicted by the Vertigo-eque cover and a T+ content rating that seems a little extreme to me (but then I suppose demons and immortal souls are probably a bit much for a lot of kids). Still, Thor: The Mighty Avenger is telling truly memorable, amazing stories right now without letting it’s A rating hold it back. All in all, I suppose my main complaint, and it’s sort of a double-edged one, is that the issue is good, but it’s just not as interesting or memorable as it could be.